Today, I am 31 years old. The only time that seems way old and kinda makes me panic is when I see it printed or on the computer. I don’t feel old, but 31 of anything (except maybe dollars) is a lot! I have a lot of years!
I feel like this year my theme is doing things that scare/excite me that I’ve procrastinated doing. For example, in October (so not technically this year, but just go with the flow with me on this) our good friends moved in with us. Now we all live in the same house community style. We’ve had people live with us before but this was different and exciting and really scary to me. I loved the IDEA of living with others, sharing our lives…joys, burdens and all. But the actual reality of it scared me. What if we got in fights and on each others’ nerves? What if we ended up not being friends anymore? That was my greatest fear. However up to this point, living together has been fantastic…better than I could have imagined. And yes, we are all still friends.
Another example, I got my wisdom teeth pulled last month. For some of you that really isn’t that big of a deal, and after it was said and done, you’re right it wasn’t that big of a deal. But I was terrified to get my teeth pulled. I have been putting it off for FIVE years! Now that it’s done I can see how silly that was.
So for your edification and my accountability, here’s a partial list of other things I’ve had on my mind that I want to make sure I do this year:
-Get my Utah driver’s license. I still have my Oregon licence and we’ve lived here in Utah for two years. Again it’s silly but I get myself scared thinking, what if I don’t pass?! Then I won’t be able to drive at all. I won’t be able to drive home from the test! Silly, but that’s what’s kept me from taking the test for the past two years.
-Run, run, run. No, not from something, for something. Before kids Kris and I ran three times a week, in Oregon (read: in the constant drizzle). When we did this I always felt more fit and my back and legs never ached like they do now. So I am making myself get up and run in the mornings or after the kids go to bed. For added motivation I’ve signed up to run with a team in the Wasatch Back relay race in June. Nothing motivates me better than the thought that I could let my other team mates down if I don’t push myself.
-Get lasik eye surgery. I don’t really have a fear issue here. It’s more a continual state of being pregnant or nursing that’s kept me from this goal. But, God willing, come June Korban will be one and weaned. Then I will be able to actually see further than my hand held up in front of my face in the middle of the night. Sigh, that thought makes me happy. 🙂
-Skydive. Well, this goal will kind of be met soon. I can’t acutally sky dive yet. I don’t think it’s a good idea to jump out an airplane while my kids are still so little. If something happened to me they’d be too young to remember what an awesome mom I was. BUT nearby there’s an indoor skydiving place that looks really cool. So this weekend, for my birthday present, I’m going indoor skydiving. I’ll let you know how it goes.
-Make a will. The idea of talking about when I’m dead just isn’t very appealing to me. Can anybody else relate to that? However, because of activities I’d like to do someday (see above) and because I have children, I feel it’s important to get as much nailed down as possible.
-Snowboard again. This one is done! I LOVED snowboarding when I was younger but hadn’t done it for several years. Last weekend, for our date night, Kris and I went night skiing. I was nervous that maybe I would have to relearn how to glide upon the snow, but it all came back to me. The snow, oh the snow, was like super soft cotton that’d gone through a food processor. Even when I did fall it didn’t hurt a bit, thus giving me more courage to try little jumps and maneuvers. I’ve just added another reason why I love Utah to my already long list. Now…whose going to buy my season lift ticket next year? 😉
-Play the violin…more. This one is also already happening. The main reason I started learning to play was so that I could one day play as worship. In my mind that meant years of lessons and practice, including a complete understanding of music theory. Well, that latter part hasn’t happened but the worship part has. I’ve been gently pushed to play with our church’s worship team by my housemates. It has been super scary and my bow still shakes like a feather when I do play in church. I don’t sound very good but the worship team has been so encouraging and supportive that I’m not quitting. Each time I play I’m a little less nervous, a little bit bolder, and enjoy it more.
I’ll try to let you know how these goals go. Be sure to ask me about them if you’re curious.
What have you been putting off that you know you need/want/should do?