So often in life we receive little pinches from those around us. Sometimes it is a stranger who rudely pinches you as you bump into one another. A driver who gives you an unkind gesture or a fellow shopper who shakes her head at your unruly kids. Those pinches are easy to brush off and get over.
Sometimes we receive pinches in the form of inconsiderate comments or actions from acquaintances. You are not invited to an outing. Somebody who doesn’t know you well asks a question that seems too personal. These little pinches hurt a bit more than those from a stranger.
Finally there are the pinches that come from friends and those closest to us. A flippant comment made about your recent failure, choosing not to spend time with you, or simply “teasing” comments that are really meant to hurt.  These pinches hurt the most because they are unexpected and because these people are close to us, so they can pinch harder, closer, and with more accuracy.
We all receive pinches and we are often busy giving out pinches as well. Sadly this is a fact of life.  However, after watching these two little ones I realized that it’s what we do about these pinches that really matters.

The Receiver
As the receiver of a pinch, in each exchange that hurts there is a need for self reflection. Did that hurt because it hit an area of my life that I need to deal with? Why is this person pinching me? There isn’t really a lot that we can do in response to a pinch from a stranger, except just let it go. Responding in anger or acting out does not create anything positive and usually only gets you more upset. There is much more room for response with acquaintances and loved ones. I noticed with the little ones, the pain inflicted was proclaimed. Your words/actions caught me off guard and hurt me. This may not be appropriate to say to somebody you hardly know, but certainly with friends and those close to you. This is not an accusation, it is just a statement. Take care to say it in such a way.
Secondly, as the receiver of a pinch don’t withdraw. It is easy to say, That hurt and I’m not going to play with you anymore. However that does not resolve anything and usually only ends up breaking relationship and hurting only yourself more. Instead try to stay engaged, give the offender another change, be long suffering.

The Pincher
If you have hurt somebody with your words and actions be quick to make it right, especially if they have the integrity and love to bring it up. Don’t be defensive. Consider it a great compliment that they value your relationship enough to work through these little issues. Now is also a good time to consider your interactions with everybody you encounter. Are you a prickly person? Do you pinch everybody who comes near? Are you a repeat pincher? Do you hurt others to get attention? Because you are insecure? We all, at time pinch, but if you repeatedly are hurting those who love you there will come a time when they will chose to stop playing with you.

The Observer
There are times when others need to get involved. Sometime another person’s perspective can completely change a situation. Regardless of what role you play, be open to hear from others whom you trust and whom can see objectively. Perhaps that person will say, you are in an unhealthy relationship and you need to get out, these are more than just little pinches, these are punches. Or maybe he/she would say, you treated that person very badly, I think you hurt them.
Finally, as an observer if you see people you love hurting each other, intervene with love and fairness. Don’t take sides, but point out what you are seeing and are concerned about. Hopefully this will lead to whole and healthy relationships without any permanent hurt.

Thanks for reading my observations and allowing me to verbally process what I’m learning.

Korban (as he runs into my room, fake crying): Ow! I hurt my leg!

Me: Oh I’m sorry. What happened?

Korban (still fake crying): I fell on the stairs. I hurt my leg. It’s broken.

Let me interject here that he did NOT fall on the stairs but rather tripped over a toy in his room. Also, his leg is not broken.

Me: Your leg isn’t broken.

Korban: It’s bleeding!

Me (looking at the horrible injury): No, it’s not bleeding.

Korban: It hurts so bad!

Me: You’re okay. You’re leg is going to be fine.

Korban: Oh, okay. (Runs off to play)

AKA: What I’m reading

The great thing about good friends is they tell you about books they are reading, what they are learning and it makes you want to read the same book. That is how I came to have TWO books titled Right Here, Right Now, on my nightstand. After hearing all my friend was learning from this book I decided I wanted to join in. So I went online, found the book by that title and ordered it. Then I excitedly texted my friend to let her know.
Her responding text: The book I mentioned is free. Did you get that one or the other with the same title?
Uh, I paid for it. BUT since the real one was free online I promptly ordered it. Both sound interesting and I paid for one, so I’ll be reading them both.
One Thousand Gifts is like the Christian world’s  most popular books right now. I actually received it as a gift in March. Started it and then left it behind after a summer vacation. So I’m hoping to finally finish it.
The Mission Minded Family is a very practical, easy to apply book on teaching your kids how to look at their world from a more global perspective. I don’t love everything in the book but there’s lots of great ideas.
Loving the Little Years is a fun little book that my mom sent me after hearing the author speak at a conference. I have really, REALLY enjoyed it and find myself highlight much of it. One of my favorite things about it is that each chapter is short, like a page and a half. So I can sit down for 5 minutes and read and actually feel like I’m getting somewhere before I have to jump up and pay attention to the kids. This girl does not claim to have all the answers, she is in the absolute midst of parenting in the little years with five children under the age of 5! But she writes well and hits hard. Here’s a sample:

    “…the state of your heart is the state of your home. You cannot harbor resentment secretly toward your children  and expect their hearts to be submissive and tender. You cannot be greedy with your time and expect them to share their toys. And…you cannot resist your opportunities to be corrected by God and expect them to receive correction from you.”

Good stuff.

Remember when you were first married and you and your man would stay up late laying in bed talking passionately about things? It could be about anything from politics to how you raise children to how you load the dishwasher but it was exciting and frustrating and challenging and stimulating and just wonderful. Well I’m not sure what happened, kids and early morning runs I suspect, but I’ve realized that I almost never make it past, “Good night, I love you” before I am asleep. Those days of excited discussion came largely in part because we had so much in common. We read books together, read the same websites, told each other about other stuff we were seeing. In general we had lots more time to read and talk than we do now days. But I miss those days, I miss those connections. So, Kris recently finished Healing for a Broken World and suggested it. So I’m reading it so that we can talk about it. I may not be able to stay up late talking about it, but maybe we can have afternoon discussions.

So that’s what I’m reading. Nothing terribly deep and NO FICTION but still some good stuff.

This one knows how to strike a match (something Mommy didn’t know he could do until this morning!)

This one regularly tells me that he loves me.

This one is wearing underwear.

This one talks nearly non-stop, even if nobody is listening.

This one is STILL very passionate about tractors and all big machinery.

This one has taken a new delight in pestering his big sister.

This one does not like to be by himself.

This one put onion powder on his oatmeal this morning, tasted it and declared, “I yike it!”

This one wants to try everything he sees his big sister doing.

This one asked a girl out on a date already…no it wasn’t mommy, but it was one of his favorite people.

This one has stolen my heart.

This one is mine.

So, Jennika is in preschool. This little preschool is just perfect for her. It is only a couple hours twice a week. She is in a class with all girls (could be a great thing but also a very dramatic thing!), and two of those girls are her very best friends! I love the play-based approach to learning that the preschool embraces and the social interaction that Jennika will experience.

Ready for the first day of school! Korban didn't want to miss anything.

Yes, my backpack is almost as big as me...so?

In her classroom.

While Jennika is at school, Korban and I get two hours of one-on-one play time! We are having lots of fun!

After Oregon we headed back to Utah for our church’s annual camping trip.

There was lots of construction work to be done.

Best friends camping together. What could be better?

After our camping trip we threw the party of all parties for Jennika and Halle who are both turning four this month. I really don’t think we’ll ever be able to top this one!

What a cute pair!

Face painting!

Beautiful!

There was even a visit from a "real" princess and her dog!

Jennika and Princess Amera

I’m telling you this party was the best! We had pretty pink fingernails, beautiful face painting, dancing princesses, songs, story time, and even a lesson on princess manners.

Finally, Kris and a couple friends went on a camping trip this weekend. Here’s a couple photos of the beautiful area they were in.

Red Castle/Kings Peak Area in the Unita Mountains

Jon, Kris, and Jesse on top of Kings Peak

That’s our summer summary! Jennika starts preschool this week. Summer is officially over (for us anyway), and what a wonderful summer it was. I hope yours was full of fun and adventures too. Thanks for reading!

...went swimming with Papa and cousins...

...saw Oma & Papa's "new" fancy car....

...even riding in the rumble seat....

...celebrated Jennika's birthday....

...with a pirate & princess treasure hunt! This is the treasure map.

There was sword fighting....

...escorting princesses...

...and even a scary cave to explore!

Never ones to let moss grow under our feet, after a few days at Oma and Papa’s, we headed south to Foster Lake for a couple days of camping and boating.

Jennika went knee-boarding for the first time.

Kris got to show off his skills too!

Even I got back on the wake board after a four year sabbatical. Don’t worry, no pictures were taken.

We went camping in Wyoming and my sister took us on a trail ride. Jennika got to ride her very own horse!

Korban and Mama's big horse.

Camping

Me and my beautiful sis...in her territory.

While I was in Belize the kids stayed and my parent’s house and had a wonderful time!

Wrestling with Uncle Modi

And even Uncle Stephen...he's not so scary, once you get past all the hair!

While I was in Belize, Kris went rock climbing in Wyoming.

Amazing!

We came home just long enough to do some laundry, check our email and catch  up on some reading and then were off on our next adventure…..

Jennika as a penguin in Mary Poppins

Korban and housemate Carter ran in a one mile race.

Korban crossing the finish line.

Two worn out little guys!

I went to Belize for a Missions Trip and mini-vacation.

Co-Pilot

Working in the kitchen

Lots of food for lots of hungry campers.

Jennika took swimming lessons....

...and has become quite the fearless swimmer!

Nope, that’s not all! That’s not even half our summer! More to come….