You are currently browsing thezyps's articles.
Today, I am 31 years old. The only time that seems way old and kinda makes me panic is when I see it printed or on the computer. I don’t feel old, but 31 of anything (except maybe dollars) is a lot! I have a lot of years!
I feel like this year my theme is doing things that scare/excite me that I’ve procrastinated doing. For example, in October (so not technically this year, but just go with the flow with me on this) our good friends moved in with us. Now we all live in the same house community style. We’ve had people live with us before but this was different and exciting and really scary to me. I loved the IDEA of living with others, sharing our lives…joys, burdens and all. But the actual reality of it scared me. What if we got in fights and on each others’ nerves? What if we ended up not being friends anymore? That was my greatest fear. However up to this point, living together has been fantastic…better than I could have imagined. And yes, we are all still friends.
Another example, I got my wisdom teeth pulled last month. For some of you that really isn’t that big of a deal, and after it was said and done, you’re right it wasn’t that big of a deal. But I was terrified to get my teeth pulled. I have been putting it off for FIVE years! Now that it’s done I can see how silly that was.
So for your edification and my accountability, here’s a partial list of other things I’ve had on my mind that I want to make sure I do this year:
-Get my Utah driver’s license. I still have my Oregon licence and we’ve lived here in Utah for two years. Again it’s silly but I get myself scared thinking, what if I don’t pass?! Then I won’t be able to drive at all. I won’t be able to drive home from the test! Silly, but that’s what’s kept me from taking the test for the past two years.
-Run, run, run. No, not from something, for something. Before kids Kris and I ran three times a week, in Oregon (read: in the constant drizzle). When we did this I always felt more fit and my back and legs never ached like they do now. So I am making myself get up and run in the mornings or after the kids go to bed. For added motivation I’ve signed up to run with a team in the Wasatch Back relay race in June. Nothing motivates me better than the thought that I could let my other team mates down if I don’t push myself.
-Get lasik eye surgery. I don’t really have a fear issue here. It’s more a continual state of being pregnant or nursing that’s kept me from this goal. But, God willing, come June Korban will be one and weaned. Then I will be able to actually see further than my hand held up in front of my face in the middle of the night. Sigh, that thought makes me happy. 
-Skydive. Well, this goal will kind of be met soon. I can’t acutally sky dive yet. I don’t think it’s a good idea to jump out an airplane while my kids are still so little. If something happened to me they’d be too young to remember what an awesome mom I was. BUT nearby there’s an indoor skydiving place that looks really cool. So this weekend, for my birthday present, I’m going indoor skydiving. I’ll let you know how it goes.
-Make a will. The idea of talking about when I’m dead just isn’t very appealing to me. Can anybody else relate to that? However, because of activities I’d like to do someday (see above) and because I have children, I feel it’s important to get as much nailed down as possible.
-Snowboard again. This one is done! I LOVED snowboarding when I was younger but hadn’t done it for several years. Last weekend, for our date night, Kris and I went night skiing. I was nervous that maybe I would have to relearn how to glide upon the snow, but it all came back to me. The snow, oh the snow, was like super soft cotton that’d gone through a food processor. Even when I did fall it didn’t hurt a bit, thus giving me more courage to try little jumps and maneuvers. I’ve just added another reason why I love Utah to my already long list. Now…whose going to buy my season lift ticket next year? 
-Play the violin…more. This one is also already happening. The main reason I started learning to play was so that I could one day play as worship. In my mind that meant years of lessons and practice, including a complete understanding of music theory. Well, that latter part hasn’t happened but the worship part has. I’ve been gently pushed to play with our church’s worship team by my housemates. It has been super scary and my bow still shakes like a feather when I do play in church. I don’t sound very good but the worship team has been so encouraging and supportive that I’m not quitting. Each time I play I’m a little less nervous, a little bit bolder, and enjoy it more.
I’ll try to let you know how these goals go. Be sure to ask me about them if you’re curious.
What have you been putting off that you know you need/want/should do?
I got this idea from my cousin’s blog. I love the idea of sharing things ( big and small) that are blessing us.
1. Waking up and seeing fluffy snow covering all the tree branches outside our bedroom window.
2. Good coffee and conversation with a good friend.
3. Ice cream in a coffee cup (it’s better that way).
4. Watching my son crawl to me, with a huge grin on his face.
5. Warm vanilla custard on a berry pie. Mmmm, thanks Heather.
What are your five things for today?
This last weekend our family had a dinner/planning meeting to attend. We had a lot of business to discuss but our hosts wanted to serve a meal and also asked us to bring our children so we wouldn’t have to make arrangements for a sitter. They wouldn’t let me help with the meal by bringing anything either.
Due to a series of uncontrollable events we got out of our house much later than we planned and were running very late for this meeting. I HATE being late. All through our marriage if we’re running even 5-10 minutes late I insist that we call our hosts and notify them that we are on our way and apologize. This was no exception. I made Kris do it this time. On the phone our host told Kris it was no problem and made sure we knew how to get to their house.
The whole (45 minute) drive there I grumbled verbally and in my mind about being late and stressed about how we would face our hosts. I feared they would be irritated with us, feel pressed for time to cover all the material we needed, and think poorly of us.
As we arrived at their house they came out to the car to greet us. My first thought was that they weren’t even going to let us get out of the car. I feared they were going to say, “You’re too late. There’s no point in meeting, just go home!” I quickly pushed this fear out of my mind as I saw their smiling faces. I jumped out of the car and began apologizing. I thrust a home made loaf of bread in my host’s arms as a peace offering. Imagine my shock when our hosts responded to my pathetic apologies by saying, “Oh, thank you for being late. I was able to take a shower!”
After my very ungracious thoughts and words in the car I was quite surprised to be thanked for being late! All through the evening our hosts demonstrated the upmost grace and love towards us. They served us a wonderful meal, offered repeatedly to help with the kids, commended us on our parenting and ambitions, hauled toys out of the garage for our daughter to play with while we talked and spoke words of encouragement to us.
As they walked us out to the car to leave, our arms full of left over food and a dozen fresh home farmed eggs, I was feeling a little bit confused. Normal people don’t act like this. They didn’t need or want anything from us and yet I felt the way I feel when somebody is trying to butter me up, before the other shoe drops. These friends of our had every reason to be irritated with us and yet they seemed truly thrilled to spend time with us. ”They’re so…nice!” I said quietly to Kris as we drove off. I realized that they were genuine. They were not manufacturing an emotion or pretending not to be irritated with us. They were going with the flow, relaxed, at ease and able to enjoy the evening. Their graciousness towards us was a wonderful surprise and also something that I long to have in my relationships. I can quickly get my feathers ruffled if things don’t go my way or follow my schedule. Usually I can cover up my frustrations but then my actions aren’t genuine and I think some can see through my guise. What I saw this weekend, because of the way I felt when I left their house, is something I want to learn.
When I was younger I would regularly and loudly bemoan the difficult life I had as an oldest sister. I have MANY stories of how I suffered due to the actions of my younger sisters. Oh, what? You’d like to hear a few? Okay.
-I was given several beautiful fancy hats, the kind that make little girls feel like twirling and curtsying in. I had one that was my particular favorite. When my little sister and I played dress up I would always let her wear a hat, but never my favorite one. One day she played dress up by herself and chose to wear my favorite hat. Then she decided to go outside and show nature and all our farm animals her elegance. Being a very small child with a very small attention span she quickly forgot about her elegance, dropped the hat on the ground and proceeded to find something else to play with. Our hat was found by our fox terrier puppy who did not appreciate its elegance, just the delightful taste of fake plastic grapes and old fabric. Goodbye hat.
-I was a teenager when my littlest sister and brother were born. Being from a large family in a small town was not always something I saw as a good thing. Many people asked me, “Are you mormon?”
“No”, I would respond.
“Oh then you must be Catholic” they would conclude. I wasn’t this either but usually I would just roll my eyes and walk off instead of trying to explain what we were that would provide an adequate justification, in their eyes, for our large family. I don’t know that there was a right explanation.
-Being the oldest girl I often was the primary babysitter for my younger siblings. Most of the time I loved it and and now I can see the great value in the childcare training I received. But there were times that I wanted to go do things with my friends but had to stay and babysit instead.
-I decided to change the way that I wrote so that my handwriting was distinct and recognizable. It took me many hours of erasing and re-writing my a’s, y’s, and j’s to create a habit of writing them differently. I wrote my a’s just like they look in this current font and my j’s and y’s were curvy at the bottom. About a year after penning my new style I noticed a paper written by my sister….with a’s and j’s JUST LIKE MINE! I was furious. It didn’t calm me in the least when my mom explained the imitation was the sincerest form of flattery. I didn’t want an imitator when I was trying to be unique!
-Clothing and jewelry often disappeared from my room and then later my own house at the hands of my sneaky littlest sister. She was always only “just borrowing” them but sometimes they were “borrowed” for months at a time.
-Once when my sister and I shared a room and a bed we sneaked out of bed after bedtime and at some of our Christmas candy. I ate my piece of candy and then fell asleep. My sister, however did not bother to finish her candy and we were caught in the morning when my mom found a cherry lifesaver stuck in my sister’s hair. We both got spanked because Jillian said I told her to eat candy with me. Yeah, like I had to command her to eat candy.
Now I laugh at these little antidotes but at the time I felt they were the most sincere forms of torture a girl could suffer and I did not suffer silently but made sure my sisters and parents were well aware of this burden I carried.
This weekend when we went back home for a visit I realized that over the past couple years I’ve gotten payback for all…well, okay most of the wrongs I suffered.
Each time we go home for a visit my youngest sister has bags full of clothes that she is giving away. I feel bad taking her adorable clothes and I know they don’t look as good on me as they look on her but I love getting the “new” clothes. My other sister practically swoops my kids out of my arms when we arrive and would take them the whole of our visit if she didn’t have to share with others. Several times during the weekend I left my kids upstairs and went downstairs to take naps.
So now I feel like the tables have turned and I am the one that is getting all the good from having little sisters. Not to say that I didn’t get lots of great experiences out of them when we were younger, but I think I am more able to appreciate them now.
Thanks Jilly and Liv.
The other night we had an adult dinner party at our house. Rather than getting a babysitter we just scheduled the party to start a little later and planned to put our kids to bed early. They skipped naps that afternoon and then were taken to the park to exhaust themselves on the playground.
Everything was running so smoothly. Korban was sound asleep and Jennika was in bed, though not yet asleep. In the middle of our meal I heard her yelling, LOUDLY and repeatedly. I rushed upstairs, angry at her for being so loud and possibly waking up Korban. Thankfully when I reached their shared bedroom I found him still asleep. Still, I was ready to scold Jennika and rushed to her bedside.
“Jennika! You can’t yell like that. You have to be quiet! Why were you yelling?”
“Cuz” (really that’s how she says it) Just before I laid into her with scolding curiosity got the best of me. So I asked, “What were you yelling?”
“Ummm, halleluiah.”
I kissed her sweet face. Told her not to yell it, just say it quietly and went back downstairs.
I lived through it! Yesterday I faced my unreasonable fear of oral surgery and got my wisdom teeth taken out. I promised you all I would give an update. The surgery itself was great, because I slept through it all. No, I did not feel a thing during the surgery. The worst part so far of the recovery is the blood and the swelling but I’m hoping today will be the worst.
Thank you all for your encouraging words and well wishes.
Tomorrow I am facing one of my biggest fears…the dentist. More accurately the oral surgeon, who will be ripping my wisdom teeth from my mouth while I lay, helplessly unconscious. Now without getting too dramatic let me just tell you that since I was tiny I have had a horrible fear and queasiness to all things related to dental hygiene and teeth. I can brush my teeth and get them cleaned twice a year but anything beyond that makes my stomach do flip-flops and me knees feel weak. I remember when a little girl I babysat proudly showed me her loose tooth. In return I nearly showed her all the contents of my stomach. Yeah, it’s really that bad. Seriously, you can ask my mom.
So when my wisdom teeth starting coming in say, six years ago, a month before our wedding, I did a little bit of panicking. But when they didn’t come in any further and weren’t causing my other teeth to hurt I decided we would just ignore each other. It seemed like a good arrangement to me, but those little turds didn’t honor their side of the bargain! About two years ago my dentist took x-rays and informed me that while my wisdom teeth were not coming in they were turning sideways and starting to push my other teeth. Ugh! I hate promise breakers!
So two consultations and a baby later here I am on the eve of the most traumatic event of my life. Yes, I do consider this more traumatic than having a baby…naturally. At least God intended women to have babies. Did he intend for us to have our teeth yanked from our mouths? I think not. (BTW this will be one of my first questions when I get to heaven, “Why? Why wisdom teeth God?”) The funny thing is, I don’t really know what I am afraid of. Kris asked me the other night when I was being dramatic about this, “What are you afraid of?” I couldn’t really answer him. Well okay, actually I told him I was afraid that they’d give me anesthesia and then I would be asleep but still be able to feel everything but not be able to wake up and tell them, “Holy hell that hurts! ” He said that never happens. So, once that was addressed and I was still fearful I couldn’t really explain why. It’s not the pain. I have a high pain tolerance. It’s not the recovery and looking like a rhinoceros stepped on my face. I look like that most mornings anyway. No, I don’t really know what I’m afraid of.
So I decided two things this weekend. One: I have to do this (or so my dentist says…I’m still suspicious of him and his motives) so I need to just buck up and do it. Two: I am not going to let fear, especially unreasonable fear, limit or control my life. There are always those “what-ifs” that pop into the realm of possibility anytime I do anything. What if I fall down the stairs and break my neck? What if a texting maniac rams into my car in the turning lane? What if my hair never goes back to those big curls I once hated but now miss? What if my kids decide I’m not cool when I sing and dance with them? What if California falls into the ocean and Texas decides to become it’s own sovereign nation? Alas, there is nothing I can do to stop (or encourage) these things to happen, so why waste energy on them?
So come tomorrow, think of me. I will report back to you on my procedure and recovery. Who knows maybe I’ll even have some crazy awesome dreams while I’m under.
Recently in a Love It post somebody asked me if I get paid to tell you about products that I love. This is a great question and got me thinking about my reasons for promoting products on my blog.
The answer is no, I don’t get paid. Though to be honest at first my hope was that eventually I would. Now, however I’ve changed my mind . If you’re like me maybe you’ve wondered how much magazines or popular blogs get paid to feature certain brands and products in their What’s New, or What’s Great sections. Do the authors and editors really love that brand of peanut butter and that face wash, or are they just trying to keep their budgets in the black? Getting paid by a company to review their product tends to muddy the waters of integrity, even if intentions are good.
Have you ever found an obscure or new product that you love only to see it discontinued a few months down the road? I hate that! Sometimes great products don’t make it simply because they are new and don’t get a chance to establish themselves in the consumer market. I think that word of mouth, from friend to friend, mother to daughter, sister to sister, etc. is the best (and most trustworthy) form of advertising. I’ll try something my housemate or mom likes in an instant, but a new product I see on in a magazine or ona billboard, I’m more wary of.
So there are my two reasons friends. One, I want to tell you about the items I REALLY do love. I promise that if I post it, its because I think the item is great and I want to share it with you. Secondly I want these items to stick around. I had a scare with my favorite chocolate milk. For weeks I couldn’t find it in any of our local grocery stores. I was panicked, worried that they weren’t making it any more. Much to my relief, a few weeks later it appeared again. So, my hope is that by sharing with you about these items you will go try them, fall in love with them too and then call your friends and tell them too. Then we won’t have to worry about chemical free cleaning products, fat free chocolate milk, or incredibly yummy chips disappearing from our grocery store shelves!
Here’s the continually growing list of books that I am reading or want to read this year. I’ll try and post an update/review on the books that I finish. I’m always open for more good reading suggestions and if you’ve read any of the books on this list I’d love to hear your thoughts.
-Voluntary Simplicity: Toward a Way of Life that is Outwardly Simple, Inwardly Rich by Duane Elgin
-The Night Trilogy: Night, Dawn, and Day by Elie Wiesel
-The Dream Girl: The Imaginary Perfect Woman All Men Hide by Anthony Pietropinto
-The Last Child in the Woods: Saving our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv
-A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller
-Emerging Worship: Creating Worship Gatherings for a New Generation by Dan Kimball
-Becoming a Woman of Influence by Carol Kent
-Steady Days: A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood by Jamie Martin
-Charlatan: America’s Most Dangerous Huckster, the Man Who Pursued Him, and the Age of Flimflam by Pope Brock
Charlatan: America’s Most Dangerous Huckster, the Man Who Pursued Him, and the Age of Flimflam by Pope Brock
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
There was so much about American history that I didn’t know about before reading this book. I was amazed to learn about the Quack phenomenon in our country and yet as the author points out at the end of the book, little has changed today with all sorts of weight-loss miracles and alternative medicines.
